The Silent Struggle

It is always difficult to tell others that we have health issues, even more so when it comes to mental health issues. As with physical health challenges, there are various types and degrees of severity of psychological disorders. Before reaching adulthood, most of us would have gone through numerous episodes of mental health challenges. Common forms of mental illness include eating disorders, addiction disorders, panic attacks, anxiety disorders, depression, mood disorders, ADHD and the list goes on. The more severe forms would be neurosis, psychosis and schizophrenia, etc.

According to medicinenet.com, "... although the exact cause of most mental illnesses is not known, it is becoming clear through research that many of these conditions are caused by a combination of genetic, biological, psychological, and environmental factors -- not personal weakness or a character defect -- and recovery from a mental illness is not simply a matter of will and self-discipline." We can recover from mental illness with proper treatment, and can control the symptoms. However, the general attitude towards mental illness is that it is incurable. We tend to ignore and/or avoid people with mental health challenges as if they have a contagious disease.

Unfortunately we also associate mental illness with low intellectual and cognitive capability. Our society has excluded, discriminated and marginalized people with mental health issues. A few days ago, I was sitting on a bus next to an elderly man who was on his way to visit his wife in a long term care facility. That has been morning routine for the past four years. He told me that ever since she was diagnosed with dementia, her friends had been dropping off like flies. Sadly, some of these friends are people that his wife has known for over six decades. 

"We need to change the culture of this topic and make it okay to speak about mental health and suicide." Do not turn a deaf ear to the problem. Ask what we can do to alleviate the suffering. We can make a big difference by smiling at and listening to the people with mental difficulties. 

Sex, Drugs & Video Games

What do sex, drugs and video games have in common? All three activities are highly addictive. In modern societies, people do not have to devote most of their time for survival. We have become lazy, bored and obsessed with these activities more than ever. Pornography is an 8 billion USD industry in the U.S. in 2012 according to Time Magazine. The UN estimates global illicit drug industry to be 400 billion USD per year in 1998. The U.S. gaming industry is roughly 20.5 billion USD in 2014 according to Wikipedia. Unfortunately, I could not locate figures for Canada.

On December 12th, 2016, the federal government passed Bill C37 which emphasized a strategy of harm reduction for the hard-core drug addicts. It is now legally easier to set up more safe, supervised injection sites (a.k.a. consumption sites). There is also a great push to decriminalize and even legalize marijuana at all three levels of government in Canada. Increasing amounts of resources are deployed to rescue the Opioid overdosed addicts, so much so that the City of Vancouver proposed to raise property tax to fund more consumption sites and wider distribution of Naloxone kits. Fentanyl overdose deaths are at a crisis level in Vancouver.

The pornography issue is just as worrisome in Canada. I was brought up to think that men and women could be platonic friends; men and women could connect at intellectual or emotional level. Not any more. Back in the pre-internet age, when men had sexual urges, they would read dirty magazines or find themselves prostitutes to satisfy their need. Today sex addicts prey on children, place obscene pictures/videos on social media or have cyber sex with other online users. I was informed by a long-time male friend that Canadian men usually do not want to marry their sex partners. They are also too cheap to pay for sex and/or are worried about getting sexually transmitted diseases from hookers. Women are treated as no more than sex objects.

Children are not the only ones that would spend all their waking moments playing video games. Pokemon Go was a big hit for a short time in the city, and managed to get some people to go outside. Otherwise, video games normally render the players inactive and anti-social. The most obvious side- effect of continuous video game playing is neck strain. The other effects include accidents caused by lack of attention, absenteeism, lack of reality perception, overloading of senses resulting in psychological problems, etc. A more far reaching effect is the production of "Zombie" generation who is deficient in human characteristics.

A few decades ago, we were taught to pursue material things, and work hard to forget the hurt and pain inherent in a competitive society. Many of us cannot find purpose in our lives, and use these vices to fill our empty lives. I think if we can figure out what we like to do, we can substitute these three addictive activities with less harmful hobbies. For example, women can knit sweaters, and men can make furniture for the poor in lieu of sex, drugs and video games. Better still, we should maintain a balance of body, mind & spirit by getting to know ourselves really well.

An Interesting Question

About ten days ago, I attended a training session for Emergency Preparedness in Vancouver. Before the session commenced, the trainer asked us to take turns to introduce ourselves to the group of about 25 attendees. Other than the regular questions such as name, occupation, neighborhood, etc, the trainer also wrote on the slide "something interesting about yourself (in 2-3 lines)" for the self introduction.

The next day I asked a friend the same question. She responded by stating her assumptions that she would not want to reveal to strangers something too personal about herself. She gave a narrative like this, "I like to travel. The last place that I travel to is Morocco." As it turned out, I had a similar introduction and half of the group described their travels in their introduction. The rest of the introductions were so typical that I forgot what they were.

Out of the two dozen introductions at the training session, I could only remember distinctly a couple of introductions. A lady sitting at the back corner chimed in, "I have five dogs at home, and my dogs would eat before I do in the event of food shortage after a major disaster." The other introduction was a sales pitch from a realtor. Even though I was not in the market for buying or selling a home, his introduction stood out.

I reflected on the question and concluded that I do indeed dwell in a generally conservative and conforming society. Most people would not dare to reveal what they are truly passionate about. Are we getting more secretive in spite of the fact that we have entered the age of "Protected Human Rights"? Or it is an effect of the prevalent "I don't care" attitude? I believe it is a combination of several factors. It seems to me that the anti-war protesters and tree-hugging environmentalists must have all retired or passed away.

In many ways, it is not as fun to live in a modern society where people are indifferent about many things. Years ago, I would make friends with the people sitting next to me in a plane on long flights. These days passengers would put on the earphones once they settle in their assigned seats, and avoid conversations as much as possible. Prior to the internet age, when you had a problem, you would ask other people for suggestions and/or advice.  Now Google is everybody's best friend. Be it a relationship problem or a DIY issue, all you have to do is ask your best friend.

No wonder when the trainer asked for something interesting about the attendees, only one person in a group of 25 people could come up with an original, passionate and unique answer.

8 Days in Belize

Even though I only spent eight days in Belize in November 2014, I experienced a wide range of cultures there. The Garifuna culture, being the predominant one, has had the greatest influence on mainstream Belizean art, music, language, and food. "Stewed chicken, rice & beans" was all I wanted to eat there. I tried to learn to speak Creole but it was not as easy as it might sound. However, according to other tourists, I was able to dance somewhat in the Garifuna style.

It was unfortunate that it poured half of the time during my Belizean visit. My original plan to spend four days each in Caye Caulker, San Ignacio, Hopkins, and Placencia was cut short by the persistent rain. I was unable to visit Caracol and the ATM cave on the western frontier. These two sites are especially noteworthy, and I had to skip both because of the safety hazards involved after days of torrential downpour. I wish someday to return to Belize and visit these two places.

The Split, Caye Caulker

I was grateful to be able to visit Cahal Peche and Xunantunich because the sky cleared long enough for me on both occasions. Cahal Pech dates back to around 1000 B.C. and was once the residence of a wealthy Maya family. Xunantunich was an important ceremonial center where the Maya worshipped their gods. It is famous for the well-preserved carvings on top of the tallest pyramid on site.

Main Plaza of Cahal Peche

My last meal in Belize was actually Shrimp Chow Mein in a Chinese eatery in Punta Gorda before taking a boat to Livingston, Guatemala. For such a small country, Belize has a surprisingly large Chinese immigrant community. They usually own grocery stores and restaurants. From the music they listened to and the videos they watched, I gathered that they have come from both Mainland China and Taiwan. My hope is that Chinese-Belizeans continue to become an integral part of Belizean society, just as earlier immigrant communities have.

Sunrise on the Caribbean, Hopkins

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Trans-Siberian Journey 2011

Exactly five years ago to this day, I embarked on an epic journey. One would think that a Trans-Siberian journey should be somewhat uneventful. To many, myself included, Russia and Mongolia are rather mysterious before this adventure. Well, I can tell you one thing; Russians and Mongolians are no stranger than the Westerners. The Chinese are a different story though.

My journey started with a “$49 CAD” group tour in Shanghai and areas surrounding the Yangtze River. It had been twelve years since I last traveled with a group. China International Travel Services (CITS) used to have a rule of “one landmark, one designated shop”. This special group executed a “one landmark to three designated shops” itinerary. I was lured into joining what is commonly known in the Chinese community a "shopping tour" because of the attractive nominal price.

On one hand, the guides would tell their overseas Chinese guests with Canadian passports that China has become incredibly wealthy and its people are enjoying better benefits than ever. In the same breath, they would pressure us to make significant purchase at the sponsors’ retail shops before the coaches would leave for the next place of visit. I enjoyed the sights very much and learned a great deal of Chinese history from one local guide. I wish, however, the Jiangsu and Zhejiang tourism authorities would adopt a more up-front marketing method in the future. Overseas Chinese in general have been very supportive of China and its people for decades before the economic boom.

After the group tour, I flew into Moscow from Shanghai. My initial impression of Moscow was that Russians are English phobic. My first time in Lenningrad train station in Moscow was indeed very memorable. I had to spend 3.5 hours there just to purchase an overnight train ticket to St. Petersburg and to store my luggage. Russia has to be one of the few countries in the world where workers, who deal with foreigners on a daily basis, don’t have to learn English. As a result, the rate that I was picking up Russian words was unprecedented.

Even though St. Petersburg is very pretty, it is even more difficult to find people who would want to speak English. People would naturally back up or start to run when they hear the question, ``Do you speak English?`` Some locals actually thought that I was a Russian ethnic minority. They looked rather disgusted. As I was later informed by an English-speaking Siberian, there are pockets in big cities in Russia where the ethnic groups would lead lives as if they were still living in Central Asia.

As I got further and further into the heart of Siberia, Russians got friendlier and more fluent in English. By the time that I left Ulan-Ude, I found out that Russians are actually very hospitable and have a good sense of humour. It was already too late. My visa would expire Oct 10th and I had already visited five Russian cities.

Even though the border guards were stern looking, I was treated very well by the Mongolian Immigration officials. I managed to get a 10-day transit visa on arrival at the land border. The officer told me that I had used up his last visa sticker and I should buy a lottery ticket when I get to China. I know I have achieved this task not because of my good looks since I was blowing my nose and coughing the whole time.

I could spend 2.5 days in Mongolia so all my sightseeing was done within the capital, Ulaan Bataar. The temperature was around 14 degrees during the day as compared to 5 degrees in Ulan-Ude. The face of the all-time Mongolian celebrity, Genghis Khan is on all everything. Well, I have to agree with the Mongolian on this. The Mongols rule two ancient civilizations much bigger than their land and wealthier, namely China and India. Written Mongolian is somewhat Russian looking. Again, I blended in quite well by uttering a few Russian words. A bank teller even spoke to me in Mongolian until I stared at him with puzzling eyes. Mongolian women are gentle people whereas Mongolian men could be quite chauvinistic. Thanks to the chauvinistic Mongolian men in my train compartment, I was forced to get a lot of beauty sleep on my way to the Mongolian-Chinese border at Zamid Uud.

Because I have visited Beijing several times before, I opted to end my Trans-Siberian journey in Taiyuan, Shanxi. I like Pingyao very much; it is an ancient walled city south of Taiyuan. To my surprise, I ended up spending almost a whole day in Shanxi Museum in Taiyuan. I particularly enjoyed the creative ways that the Museum presents the artefacts. The Wang Family Grand Courtyard and Yuncang Grottoes would be on the agenda of my next visit to Shanxi.

I have spent my last 3 days in Xiamen visiting my brother and his family. My 4-year niece is a 3D photocopy of me. While visiting Tulou, I did my final mad dash of souvenir shopping and raising the local GDP by a few percentage points. You see, Fujian province is also famous for its teas and handcrafted candies.

All in all, this journey had been one of great diversity in scope, climate, cultures, languages, food and religions.

Angkor Wat, Dawn to Dusk

 I visited Angkor Wat in March 2005. I took a bus from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap. Even though my host advised me to book a taxi the night before my visit to the complex, I opted not to. At 4:30 am the following morning, I walked out to the main road and waved down a tuk-tuk. After bargaining a price for a full day exclusive service, I hopped on the tuk-tuk and got outside the main gate. A few minutes later, I witnessed a photo-perfect sunrise.

It was a very hot day and my driver would have to constantly urge me to visit the sites. The architecture had a strong Hindu temple feel although Buddha statues are everywhere in the complex. Archaeologists from Scandinavian countries were restoring the structures.The biggest difference between an Angkor Wat Buddha head and a "regular" Buddha head is the gentle smile on the Cambodian one as characterized by the sculptured towers of the Bayon.

Another feature that had me awestruck is the bas-relief walls telling the stories of the battles between the Hindu Gods. The complex warrants a multi-day visit not just because of its immense size but also the artistic value of the structures. Seldom would visitors find fine detailing even on the exterior walls. The architecture and artistic motifs reflected strong Indian influences, a reminder of the deep cultural connections between India and the Khmer Empire.

My driver took me to a village on the perimeter for lunch. As I sat down with a plate of deep fried fish and rice at a tree-shaded table, a group of elementary school-age children approached me. I asked them why they were not in school. They replied that they already had classes in the morning. Some tried to sell me postcards and souvenirs. But for the most part, they just wanted to practise their English. To my surprise, these kids were very knowledgeable about capital cities around the world. By the end of lunch, every American coin in my pocket had found a new owner.

The signature shots of tree roots penetrating into temples of Ta Prohm are on all the promotional materials for Angkor Wat. That part of the complex is a magnificent display of the force of nature. Yet whatever remained standing was so preciously intact. My day ended with watching the sunset with a lot of noisy tourists on top of a temple at Phnom Bakheng. 

As the boat pulled away from Siem Reap the next morning, the images of ancient stone towers, giant tree roots, and smiling Cambodian children remained far more vivid than the photographs in my camera.

Definition of love

My nephew's 7th birthday is in early October. Yesterday I spent a better part of the day trying to find a birthday gift that he would like and is within my price range. It brought me a lot of joy to find that "ideal" gift. I had to consider his likes and dislikes, etc. by recalling the times that we spent together. He lives in a city that is eight hours drive away from me, and I do not see him that often. He might never know how much time and effort I put in finding his birthday gift. The thought that the gift could make a difference in his life motivated me. What did he do to elicit so much love on my part? Nothing. Maybe I see a lot of similarities between us. I love my nephew.

I was only sixteen when I got accepted into university. Every day I would have to spend 2 hours each way commuting. My parents did not give us (their offspring and grandfather) allowances except for bus fares. As I was getting ready for school around 5 a.m. one particularly cold, damp winter morning, I heard someone cooking in the kitchen. It was my grandfather. "Why are you up so early, grandpa?" He wanted to cook me a hot breakfast before I got out of the house. Microwave ovens were not around at that time. He then gave me two dollars to buy a hot lunch for that day. "Go back to bed, grandpa. Your rheumatism must be hurting you." My grandfather loved me.

St. Paul's definition of love has always been my guiding light.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

The same principles are also applicable to romantic love. In reality, few people are more obsessed in possessing and/or controlling their loved ones. A lot of lovers cannot bear the thought of being separated from each other especially when they first fall in love. In my opinion, this is nothing more than a form of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and self-centered behaviour. As the saying goes, "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours; if they don't, they never were."

It is indeed very difficult to define love. I suppose when I love someone, I am only concerned about their well-being and happiness. Sometimes there is sacrifice to be made to preserve the well-being and happiness of my beloved; it is also when I ask myself how deep is my love.