Life is like...

 "... life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get."

Many analogies have been used to describe what life is like. One of my favourite playwrights, William Shakespeare compared life with these lines in Macbeth: "Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."  On a lighter note, there is a famous line, that I like to quote all the time. It is from one of my favourite movies, Forrest Gump. "... life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get."

A few days ago, I heard another analogy in a philosophical discussion. It was used to emphasize the aspect how we had to improvise to forge forward in times of adversity. Life is like cooking a meal for your friends and family. I reflected on this analogy and became rather fond of it. 

A democratic host would keep in mind the likes and dislikes of her guests. It could be a buffet dinner or individual plates customized to individual preferences and tastes. An autocratic host, on the other hand, would only serve food that she likes with little regard for her guests' preferences. It seems to me that I have had mostly autocratic hosts in my life. Either I am just not someone that they care about or they are just self-centered. They only invite me because of social protocols. I have learned to decline such invitations. Why should I go through so much agony just to be polite?

Sharing a meal with someone I truly like, however, is a wonderful experience especially when it is a home-cooked meal. When I take time to prepare something that my guests like, it is also an expression of love. Going to the market and food preparation are no longer chores.  Sometimes I experiment with new ingredients and discover new favourites with my friends.

In the first two analogies, though the individual takes action on his surroundings, he/she cannot affect how things would turn out. The experience is passive and unilateral. The last analogy, on the other hand, has elements of choice and interactions. Whichever way one goes through life, there is always a beginning and an end. 

House Of Pleasures

Vancouver is full of dirty old men. Every time I return to my home city, I would frequently be approached by "friendly" elderly men. These men appear to be educated and intelligent, perhaps just a little lonely. Who would have thought that a conversation at the bus stop or in the park would almost always lead to molestation and even foreplay? They all claimed to be just flirting with no ulterior motives. As it turned out, these single pensioners targeted the "non-professionals" because they simply would not have the financial means to pay for sexual services to satisfy their strong libido.

I read about the Prostitution Law of Canada that was introduced by the Conservative government  in 2014. It is modeled after the Swedish Prostitution Law which is based on the view that prostitution is violence against women and a clear sign of inequality. Essentially, it is...illegal to purchase or advertise sexual services and illegal to live on the material benefits from sex work. Although it is legal to sell sexual services, in some cases it is illegal to solicit in public areas.

Canada, being famous for providing an excellent social welfare net to its citizens, should really consider setting up safe houses for sex workers where these male seniors could get sexual services at nominal prices. These houses of pleasures would serve several purposes:

• To provide a haven for sex workers who would otherwise be soliciting in public areas and living without proper health care.
• To reduce sexual assaults and/or domestic violence rates because the sex-hungry crowd would not have to force themselves on their unwilling partners.
• To improve public safety so that women could resume jogging in park or walking in the dark to and from their homes to bus stops.
• To minimize the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.

This proposition is not entirely outrageous since there are already safe injection sites in Vancouver. These injection sites are staffed with social workers and health care workers as a harm reduction measure for the narcotic drug users. Similarly, the houses of pleasures should be staffed with health care workers who would administer mood stabilizers and condoms to the users before they could enjoy the 5-minute service on each visit. Studies have shown that mood stabilizers and antidepressants are effective in decreasing libido over time. 

In terms of finances, the sex workers would be on duty no more than 40 hours a week in accordance to the provincial employment standards and be given an allowance equivalent to Income Assistance (BC Benefits). The cost of a pack of cigarettes is roughly $15.00 CAD in Vancouver so I would think the patrons would be able to pay $15 for the prescription drug and condom per visit. Just like the safe injection sites, these houses of pleasures should be unmarked but far away from schools. If run efficiently, these houses might generate net profit for the local governments. If not, it is the kind of social services that should be subsidized with tax dollars.

It is impossible to eliminate the oldest profession nor is it humane to arrest and castrate all these dirty old men. This alternative solution to a long standing social problem might just be what Vancouver needs to protect its women.

2018 in Review

Essaouira, Morocco at Daybreak.

In less than two days, we will ring in a new year. It is time to reflect back on the past 363 days.

Life was very routine and mundane in the first half of the year. I dug out all my photo albums and scrapbooks, and scanned all my paper photos into a USB stick. I gave away more clothes, shoes and accessories. But still I could not eliminate the use of a locker. I suppose I would need a locker in Vancouver as long as I spend half of a year in Canada. When weather is getting more extreme in Vancouver, winter clothing is a necessity.

Unlike the summer of 2016, I did not volunteer in public events as much this summer. I tried to help people on a one-to-one basis more. Sometimes it is just listening to people's complaints. At the same time, I spent a lot of time gathering as much information about West Africa as possible. The prospects were looking worse and worse the whole time. Subsequently I made a decision that I would just travel to fewer countries in West Africa than I had originally planned.

By the end of July, I quit Facebook to rediscover the real me. I felt so free from the shackles of social media and my thinking became clearer. I lost the compulsion to check FB news feed frequently. I had approximately three months of pre-FB peace of mind. Then I realized that I had to join an FB group that would provide me the latest status and news on the West African countries that I am going to visit. I reactivated my FB account mid-November and posted regularly again.

My West African journey started on October 1st in Paris, France. The fact, that I was dragging my feet in my actual visit in the Western part of the African continent, prolonged my visits in Spain and Morocco. If I had to choose a favourite city in Europe on this tour, it would have to be Cordoba, Spain and Essaouira in Morocco.

Cordoba at night.

Life is full of surprises. Just when I thought it would be unlikely to fit a month-long visit to Cape Verde, I found out that Air Senegal started direct flights between Dakar and Praia at the beginning of December. Cape Verde again became the highlight of my West African journey. To be able to spend the holiday season in Cape Verde is a dream come true. My West African journey once again became eye-opening and enjoyable. Thank you God for answering my prayers and bestowing all these wonderful gifts on me this year.

Sunset behind Volcano Fogo, Cape Verde.

To Go Or Not To Go To West Africa

Ever since I was little, I dreamed of being a missionary in Africa. Then I realized that I did not fit the description of a religious missionary. I relinquished that dream many years ago. After my early retirement in 2011, the idea of an African journey rekindled. Perhaps just to satisfy my curiosity, I should give the African continent a whirl. Even though much of Africa has come a long way in the past few decades, abject poverty is still evident in many African countries. When I visited Eastern and Southern Africa in 2015/2016, tourism in most of the African countries was still not well developed.

Transportation is the biggest issue. For instance, the main north-south "highway" in Mozambique was in very poor condition. To travel a distance of 1400 kms, the minimum travel time is 25 hours of non-stop driving. The highway is full of potholes and frequent checkpoints with corrupt police. Another issue is the lack of tourist accommodations. Okavango Delta is a well-known tourist spot in Botswana; however, budget travellers have no choice but sleep on the ground in tents on campgrounds. Thirdly, public health issues could at times be of grievous concern. For example, the 2014-2016 Ebola outbreak in West Africa prevented me from completing the circuit around sub-Sahara Africa.

Now that the Ebola epidemic is under control, I would continue my African adventure. In addition to the three issues present in Southern and Eastern Africa, West Africa has two more issues. The first one has something to do with the travel visas. For most Western country passport holders, Senegal and Gambia are the only two countries that require no visas to enter the countries. Last but not least, terrorist activities and robberies are common in many of the West African countries.

Many of the globetrotters would only travel in certain parts of the world, forsaking the less known places altogether. I, however, think that I should visit these places at least once and try to understand why they are not popular with the travelers. Many a times I got transported back in time when traveling off the beaten path. There are places that are unaffected by urbanization or modernization. I uncovered the kind of primitiveness that I would otherwise not be able to experience.

God willing, I hope to visit Senegal, Cape Verde, Gambia, Guinea-Bissau, Guinea, Sierra Leone, Liberia, Ivory Coast, Ghana, Togo and Benin. If it gets to be too challenging, I would just turn around before Benin. As always, I want to travel like a local tourist. This means riding in a lot of bush taxis which are often time consuming. I have allocated roughly eighteen weeks to complete this journey. I would save Cape Verde for last because I might not have enough time and it is the easiest country to travel in.

Authentically ME

1.4 billion users worldwide but not in my world, hahaha.

During the past six weeks, I have led a pretty much "social media free" life. When I first quit Facebook at the end of July, I tried to replace it with other social media such as Reddit, Twitter, Google+, etc. Because I don't have many followers on those websites, the news feeds and updates are not as abundant and frequent. I have not developed an obsession to check those websites regularly. Subsequently I turned to playing video games on my cell phone. Soon I also got bored of those games. Nowadays I watch a couple of hours of YouTube videos everyday just to keep myself up-to-date with the latest social development and new discoveries/knowledge. I treat internet as a tool like a telephone or a resource for information and entertainment.

My original intent to participate in Facebook was to keep in touch with friends and family in a more open, efficient and effective way. Back in the pre-Facebook era, I used to send email to friends and family whenever I was travelling abroad or an annual review at year end. An annual review email is the electronic version of a Christmas card. People seldom reciprocated my actions. I would have no idea what was happening in their lives until somebody was born, got married or died. It would seem to me that people value their privacy more than anything else unless they can gain from me, they have no desire of having any form of communication with me. I will remember this observation next time I am lured to sign up for a social media website

Perhaps because I have been "off" the workforce and mainstream society for almost a decade, I have forgotten most of the negative aspects of human nature such as greed, jealousy, competitiveness and selfishness. In many ways, these characteristics are accentuated by online social media. Since retirement, I move around constantly and do not have a permanent address. I have not been able to stay long enough to form stable relationships anywhere. My exposure to all these traits has been kept to a minimum. Facebook brought forth these long forgotten issues. Smartphone apps with broadcast messaging capability such as Whatsapp, Wire, Line, Viber, Wechat, etc. also provide a means for wide-spread rumours, gossips and fake news.

I do not claim to be enlightened; however, I have come a long way to where I am spiritually. By removing myself from popular social media and messaging platforms, I return to my former state of happiness and content. How the rest of the world perceives me is of little or no concern to me. I suspect nobody really cares how, where and who I am. They could be "better" than me in every way or form. I know who I am and what the purpose of my life is. If the Almighty has a plan for me, I trust that He would reveal it to me and let me have a chance or two to complete my mission. After attempting to communicate with the outside world, only recently have I learned the lesson of not needing or wanting to update my status or be noticed.

In the world of ME, I am the centre of this universe. There are no influencers or followers. I decide what I like or dislike. I don't feel obliged to belong to any group, political party or religious institution. I don't have to comply with a particular set of rules or follow certain teachings. I was molded to have strict morals and ethics which, when combined with my conscience and love for all creatures, should be sufficient to sustain me. I am and shall remain authentically ME. 

A Good Deed A Day

Two years ago when I was spending nine months living in Vancouver as a retiree, I volunteered at many community events and research studies at the university. My main goal was to keep myself busy. I spent a fairly large amount of money on transportation costs, and did my shifts in places that I had not visited previously. To my chagrin, I did not always feel appreciated, effective or useful. So when I returned to Vancouver last fall after a six month journey, I decided that I would not volunteer at those community events again. I would do something different this time around.

Karma is a boomerang.

I started the "A good deed a day" project last October. The objective is to build positive karma and not to incur related costs as much as possible. I wanted to do something that would make me happy, and at the same time create a positive impact on other people's lives. For instance, I would clean my friend's apartment where I was staying and cook dinners for my friend before moving into my rental place. When I moved into my rental place, I continued to do house chores everyday.

Before Craigslist eliminated the personal ads this April, I would occasionally "chat" with some lonely, depressed souls from CL. I would encourage them to get out more and remind them of ways of meeting women in person. However, these people are usually beyond help. They seem to use the personal ads on CL for free sex. In many ways, I was happy that CL no longer has personal ads. Perhaps those sexually obsessed men would finally look up and pay for professional escort services. For the the more morally upright, they would find enough courage to meet people in real life. I also think that the minors are somewhat more protected from the pedophiles when the CL personal ads were removed

Other than feeling great when I do something good without expectations, I believe I have also increased the positive vibes/energy about me. Negative incidents do not appear as frequently. Often I found myself at the receiving end. For example, my landlady shares her food with me for no reason at all. People frequently give up their seats for me on crowded buses. I won small amounts of money or a free lottery ticket several times already this year.

While I strive to do at least a good deed a day, I do not aggressively pursue this goal. I believe every little bit counts. When there is no chore to do at the house, I would post news, health advice, original photos and encouraging quotes on social media. A good deed could be a small task like picking up litter from the sidewalks or saying hello to a sad looking stranger at the bus stop. On a micro level, I know the world is better because of my daily effort. If I persist in doing a good deed everyday, it will become my nature. When opportunity knocks on my door, this concept might even enable and empower me to do something great on a grander scale.

Imagine if everyone in the world does a good deed a day, this planet would have been so much better!

Farewell Facebook

Dear Facebook,

I have decided to quit seeing you forever. For the past eleven years, I spent way too much time on you. When I first encountered you in 2007, you were an undoubtedly more efficient way to be connected to my family and friends. Since then, our needs have changed and we have grown apart.

Thank you for letting me find my old friends. Without you, I would have lost touch with the people in my past. But then I also realize why we have not kept in touch for many years. Sometimes it is best that memories remain in the past and/or be cherished only in my mind.

Thank you for providing me a platform to share my passions - traveling and photography. In the last few epic journeys, you even helped me in a minor way to get the necessary assistance. When I was not on the road, I was able to do a lot of armchair traveling from looking at the posts of my traveling friends. I enjoyed looking at some spectacular photos though sometimes digitally enhanced.

Thank you for giving me opportunities to show people that I do care. I just loved sending birthday wishes, wedding/anniversary greetings on their special days. Your GIF's, stickers and emoji's made it so easy to do so even in my non-creative moments. However, it makes me feel very inadequate to see that I am falling behind whenever my friends are buying a new car, boat, house, plane, traveling to some exotic places or eating in an expensive restaurant.

What breaks this camel's back is the constant streaming of political and religious propaganda on top of the customized ads. For the same reason, I have not watched television shows for many years. I do not want to be subjected to subliminal messages again.

I know quitting you will be difficult because we have been together for eleven years. I will remain...

Yours lovingly,
RKW