Farewell Facebook

Dear Facebook,

I have decided to quit seeing you forever. For the past eleven years, I spent way too much time on you. When I first encountered you in 2007, you were an undoubtedly more efficient way to be connected to my family and friends. Since then, our needs have changed and we have grown apart.

Thank you for letting me find my old friends. Without you, I would have lost touch with the people in my past. But then I also realize why we have not kept in touch for many years. Sometimes it is best that memories remain in the past and/or be cherished only in my mind.

Thank you for providing me a platform to share my passions - traveling and photography. In the last few epic journeys, you even helped me in a minor way to get the necessary assistance. When I was not on the road, I was able to do a lot of armchair traveling from looking at the posts of my traveling friends. I enjoyed looking at some spectacular photos though sometimes digitally enhanced.

Thank you for giving me opportunities to show people that I do care. I just loved sending birthday wishes, wedding/anniversary greetings on their special days. Your GIF's, stickers and emoji's made it so easy to do so even in my non-creative moments. However, it makes me feel very inadequate to see that I am falling behind whenever my friends are buying a new car, boat, house, plane, traveling to some exotic places or eating in an expensive restaurant.

What breaks this camel's back is the constant streaming of political and religious propaganda on top of the customized ads. For the same reason, I have not watched television shows for many years. I do not want to be subjected to subliminal messages again.

I know quitting you will be difficult because we have been together for eleven years. I will remain...

Yours lovingly,
RKW

How to defeat mood swings and depression methodically

We all have heard about tricks to control our anger such as taking deep breaths and counting from one to ten before firing out angry words or swearing. Do you know that you can deploy similar technique to counter mood swings and depression?

Almost two decades ago when I first suffered long periods of depression, I had a lot of resentment for the people who mistreated me and became vengeful. I was in between jobs and had problems with my friends and family. I did not want to be around people especially my family. Then I discovered that I was only hurting myself by craving vindication. I thought I would write an autobiography to tell my side of the story. Per chance, I might even find some bright spots which could cheer me on. Unfortunately there were way more unhappy moments than happy moments. I drove deeper in my depression and suicidal thoughts manifested.

One day I started writing down why I was so sad. I was sad because I was stuck in dead-end, meaningless and low-paying jobs. I was sad because I was rejected by a religious order. I was sad because I was criticized and despised for not conforming to the typical life cycle mold of being happily married and having kids by a certain age. I was sad because nobody understood me. I was sad because I was betrayed by people that I trusted. I was sad because my efforts and achievements were not recognized.

Sometimes I would write down what would make me happy again. But most of the time, I would try to explain why I was such a "failure" and why I was so unhappy. It turned into a blaming exercise and it did not help in my personal development. I blamed my being born at the tail end of the Baby Boomer generation for my not having any success in my career. I blamed God for not letting me become a nun. I blamed my parents for having high expectations but not helping me at all. I blamed my co-workers for being jealous of me, backstabbing me and gossiping to get ahead.

So how did I overcome those dark periods of my life? First, I believe in myself and have developed my set of values and ethics. In my mind, everyone born to this planet has an intrinsic value and is equal. Sets of values are imposed upon me throughout my life, and I am being measured against external values and attributes. I have no choice but be compared to people around me, be it a family member, a co-worker or an acquaintance.

Solution: When things are not going my way, I verbalize my complaints or put them on paper, and then try to compromise to the limit of my "standards". If it is a mood swing, I identify the mood change and then verbalize the issues. I talk to God all the time because of my faith in the Almighty Creator God. For those who don't have friends or God, you can talk to yourself. Resolve the issues and never look back.