New Form of Prostitution

Ever since I moved into my new place two and a half months ago, I have had two roommates. They are both international students. The first one is from Japan and the current one is from the Caribbean. These girls like to bring men back to the house late at night. Sometimes these men left in the morning and sometimes before dawn. My ex-roommate would get calls in the evenings and return home in the early hours of the morning. She usually came home with bags of new clothes and food when she came back in the afternoons. I thought nothing of her ability to afford all these merchandise at first. Then one night, I overheard a phone conversation in Japanese. "Okay, I will see you in half an hour at the usual place. But I would not accept anything less than 300."

My current roommate only moved in ten days ago. Already her "boyfriend" stayed overnight in her room three times. When he left at 5:20 am this morning, he said to her, "I am coming back tonight. When are you getting off work from the restaurant tonight?" I was awake because I had gone to the bathroom just moments before I heard the conversation in the hallway. This Caribbean student has been telling me that she needs money because her parents are not supporting her financially and she has taken out a student loan. She had to work full-time and study part-time.

Many years ago when I lived in Toronto and shared a house with six other U of T students, international students were not allowed to work in Canada. Most of my roommates came from different parts of the world. Some would take up cash jobs at a fraction of the legal minimum wages. They worked long hours and seldom bought any luxury goods. One of my roommates often came home with scraps from the restaurant that she worked in as a dishwasher. Amazingly enough, she saved a fair sum of money to take home to Pakistan when she completed her masters degree program.

When I was travelling in Australia in 2013, I stayed in hostels mainly. I met many young ladies from developed countries and they were on working holiday visas. They would sleep with a different man every night in the hope of meeting an Australian guy who would marry them, and they could stay in Australia permanently. This is also common in urban centres in Canada. While working as a property manager, I received many applications from inter-racial, newly-wed or common-law couples. I sometimes wondered how these couples could be hooked up other than the pubs. Then I saw online ads similar to the one below:

Are you a Student - m4w (surrey area) 

e this posting

body : fit status : single

Are you a student who deserves better? If I am right than you should message me and see if we could have some chemistry. I am a single man who is loyal, supportive and non-judgmental. If this interests you and you want a better life or environment we should chat and see if it goes anywhere. Thank you.

The unofficial job boards are constantly flooded with ads for 19-25 female international students for modelling positions. It is evident that the Police Department has made similar observations and is allocating some of their resources in this area. An article in the April 23, 2015 edition of National Post stated that:

...Vancouver police Const. Brian Montague said that police have not received reports of the alleged WeChat sex scam, which appears to be criminal extortion.

Scams like this are probably under-reported, Montague said, because men are embarrassed by being duped or fear telling police that they were involved in a potential crime of soliciting prostitutes.

“These types of scams are only limited by people’s imagination,” Montague said. “It’s just a question of a different medium — in this case instead of Craigslist they are using WeChat. It’s important for people to know in any situation that whenever they contact or agree to meet someone online, you don’t really know who it is.”

Canada might have changed our immigration policies to counteract the trend of our rapidly aging population resulting in the shrinking labour force. The government has improved its revenues and generated jobs in several industries by proactively accepting a large number of international student each year. However, I wonder if there are measures at the federal level to mitigate social problems created by admitting the progressively increasing numbers of international students and young tourists on working holiday visa into Canada.

To date or not to date

As a last resort to find a travel companion for my next journey, I put up an ad on Craigslist. I browsed through the personals regularly. I found the ads rather amusing.

In the STRICTLY PLATONIC section, I saw the following ads under the subsection of m4w:

I am a man looking for a woman to have phone sex with. I don't want to know your real name or ever want to meet. If you are a woman interested in phone sex for fun, shoot me a message including your phone # and when u would like to talk. No pics.

I am looking for any Women who might be into making a new Friend/Cuddle Partner this long weekend... I am a fun white athletic single male who lives alone and looking for a woman who is into that. Let me know more and lets hangout and cuddle this long weekend :)

i was reading this newspaper article today about cuddle companies in Vancouver. and how cuddling and non-sexual touch raises our happiness hormones.And makes us more happy. i am NOT looking for serious relationship. just occasional cuddle, shoulder massage, pressing accupressure points to make each other feel good.i am male/32/well qualified/having good job and a good life. Plz respond ONLY if you are willing to meet and send your number. Don't want to be wasting time making 'email friends'.

In the STRICTLY PLATONIC section, I saw the following ads under the subsection of w4m:

I'm bored, just seeing if anyone would be interested in walking around the seawall and then going for all you can eat sushi? ...I'm not a super fit person, you don't need to be either so long as you can walk around the seawall. It would also be nice to meet someone who can hold a conversation, an awkward 3 hour walk doesn't interest me :p

I love cooking but better yet, sitting back and being cooked for. I will pour the wine and be your sous chef. I will let you pick the movie too! Just want a stress free time. No deep talks. No talk of horrible ex's. No pressure. Just dinner, drinks and a fun night curled up watching movies. Please no married, attached men....not into drama.

If you're reading this, perhaps you are similar to me in hoping there is another open-minded individual to share fun and friendly conversations with? It could lead to sharing stories over coffee or while walking in a park. I am a hard working, early 30s lady with a good head on her shoulders but find having a group of professionally employed friends makes it difficult to just chat or head out for dinner or even a walk together. It would just be lovely to have someone else I can communicate with - no strings attached!

Looking at these ads, I observe some commonalities and discrepancies. What men want is usually not what women want. Men want to touch, cuddle and have sex whereas women want to walk, talk and eat. I suppose whenever supply meets demand, it is the start of a beautiful friendship.

My Spiritual Transformations in Mozambique

Last year around Christmas time I was traveling in Central Mozambique in a northbound direction, attempting to reach Mozambique Island before the holidays. I was visiting a small port city called Quelimane when something unimaginable happened. My bag containing all my ID's, credit and debit cards, cash, cell phone, netbook computer and camera was snatched from my side in the early morning hours of December 21, 2015 at a bus stop outside the city market. I was penniless and had no ID for two weeks in a Portuguese-speaking country in Africa.

Prior to the robbery, my journey through Mozambique was not much different from my other trips through developing countries with poorly maintained roads. I was staying in run-down hotels and travelling in crowded buses that were considered to be luxurious by locals. Moreover, I was still pretty much in control of my travel options.  For the lack of a better way to describe my experience in those two weeks subsequent to the incident, I would say that I went through dramatic spiritual transformations. My outlook on life took a 180 degree turn. After that, it was not so important that I was in control of my own destiny.  

For the first three nights, I slept on the floor of the Immigration Office. The staff would chip in to buy me one meal a day. The water for my bucket shower came from a well in the courtyard. The office phone couldn't dial outside the country. There were only two desktop computers in the whole department. Most of my days was spent under a huge mango tree. Sometimes official business was also conducted under the tree. The officers would be writing on a pad of forms with carbon paper in between the pages. Occasionally a mango or two would drop to the ground. Sometimes the grounds keeper would hook some mangoes down for me. I always got to sit on the best chair. 

On Christmas eve morning, I faxed the High Commissioner of Canada in Maputo after leaving a couple of messages on their general voice mailbox and getting no response the previous day. The Immigration Office was closing at noon that day. The lady in charge of my case called a wealthy local businesswoman who sent her driver and secretary to pick me up from the Immigration Office. They checked me into a small hotel, and I stayed there for four days. I continued to eat just one meal a day. I spoke to no one. For some reason, I did not feel hungry or sad. 

During Christmas, all the shops were all closed for a few days, and the streets were quiet. Even if I was hungry and had money, I would not be able to buy food. I was just worried that the thieves would clear out my bank accounts with the debit and credit cards in my bag. I suppose when I involuntarily fasted and constantly pondered about the meaning of life with no distraction for hours on end, I finally realized that God would provide. All I had to do was to surrender, and allow Him to be in charge.

Angels came in all forms, shapes and sizes. On Boxing Day, while having the complimentary breakfast in the hotel, I heard an English conversation at the next table. I approached the young couple and asked them how to make a call outside Mozambique. The couple is originally from the States. They now live on the other side of the river and were in a hurry to catch a ferry. The young lady let me use her laptop to Skype one of my banks. There was no answer after ringing for half an hour. She then walked me to her friend's house where I was able to connect with my brother by email. By that time, I hadn't had contact with the outside world for a week. 

My second angel is a pastor couple who fed me the following week. Every day I would go to their house and spent pretty much the whole day with their church family. Even though they did not limit the times that I could get online, I only used their computer to correspond with my brother. The strangest thing happened - I was beginning to feel very isolated. Most of them were bilingual; however, I did not want to repeat my story over and over again. On New Year's Eve, I stayed in my room in the wealthy businesswoman's house when my "church friends" celebrated the New Year with lots of food and music. I had another long dialogue with the Almighty. After submitting myself according to His plans, I slept peacefully that night.

When I went to Maputo two days later to apply for a new passport, I borrowed the equivalent of 80 USD for four days there. Let me put this in perspective for you. The minimum monthly salary is 100 USD and the median range is 200 to 400 USD. I stayed at a backpackers, and survived on biscuits and tap water for three days. My family had wired money to the High Commissioner of Canada office in Maputo; however, the funds would not be released to me until Jan 5th. I stayed in the dorm room most of the time because fasting seemed more bearable that way. 

My third and fourth angels came in the form of young men who enabled me to communicate with the outside world and protected me from the darkness of the city. I have always felt fortunate to share with others what I have. Now I understand how blessed are the ones who give in their "poverty". On February 19th, I exited Mozambique and arrived in a hostel in Dar-es-Salaam, Tanzania, a young man asked me, "Madam, do you have any idea how hard it is to have no money and live in Africa?". I replied, "Yes, I do."

A Tale of Four Candies

Yesterday I had a rather philosophical conversation with my young nephews. The older one, Erik, is going to be six years old in October and the younger one, Alex, is four years old. They were playing the “Super Mario Brothers” game and Erik told Alex to have patience. Alex said, “I don’t do patience and I don’t know what patience is.” I thought I would illustrate the concept to Alex by posing a question to them.

“Suppose I have four candies to give you. If you want it right this second, you can only get one candy. If you can wait twenty minutes, you can get two candies, and if you wait an hour, you will get all four candies.” To my surprise, 4-year old Alex said, “ I don’t know how long an hour is but I will wait an hour to get four candies.” I am surprised to hear this reply because we are in the age of instant gratification. Alex’s answer is somewhat unconventional, counter-intuitive and opposite to his previous statement.

What surprised me even more was Erik’s reply. He asked me how many candies I had in total. I said,’Four.’ He then said, “We will wait twenty minutes so we both get two candies each.” I commended Erik for being a good brother and showed consideration for his younger brother. Then their dad said to me, “Erik is not thinking about his brother at all. He is just optimising the wait time to get all your candies.”

I reflected on the conversation. Many a time, we forgo a great deal of possible rewards to attain instant gratification. Then there are times that we miss out on many opportunities because we illogically waited for rewards that would never materialize. I suppose the ultimate moral of this story is that we should be content with the decisions we make because life is a very good poker player.

One Tin Soldier (The Legend Of Billy Jack)

"...'Bout a kingdom, on a mountain
And the valley folk below
On the mountain was a treasure
Buried deep beneath a stone
And the valley people swore
They'd have it for their very own
... ... ...
And they killed the mountain people
So they won their just reward
Now they stood beside the treasure
On the mountain dark and red
Turn the stone and which beneath it
"Peace on Earth," was all it said."

For some strange reasons, the lyrics of this 1970's song got stuck in my head all these years. I was singing the song while doing other household tasks in the past week. I pondered about the lyrics which might sound too improbable at first. Later I could see that the fictional lyrics was actually a parody of what happened in real life. 

Greed is obviously the motivation of the valley people to kill the mountain people and claim the treasure as their own. What if these valley people investigate the rumour first, would that war still happen? Why would the valley people believe that they deserve to possess the treasure buried in the mountain, especially after killing the rightful owners? 

Seventy years ago today (August 15th, 1945), Japan announced its surrender to the Allied Forces. It was just nine days after USA had dropped a nuclear bomb in Hiroshima, For many years, Japanese troops invaded China and Korea mainly because of the resources and farm land in these countries. The Chinese and Koreans were already "sharing" their wealth with their neighbour, Japan. Yet the slaughter continued as if the Japanese appetite could never be satisfied.

The more recent example would be the American troops were being sent to Iran and Iraq to locate nuclear weapons. Perhaps these deployments could be avoided if the countries have better communications and developed trust in each other. The victims of these actions as a result of this subjective reality were in fact the citizens of both the invading and invaded countries. Just like the long lasting Palestinian/Jewish conflicts over the Holy Land, "Peace on Earth" could only be attained when the involved parties put aside their prejudice and let the tin soldier ride away.

Ignorance is Bliss.

Simon Bolivar, a Venezuelan military leader once said, "By ignorance we have mastered more than force." I could not have agreed more with his statement after undertaking the task of looking after my recently disabled mother.

My mother suffered a massive hemorrhagic stroke in the left side of her brain in October 2014. She stayed in various hospitals for half a year before returning home in April 2015. Prior to the stroke, she was very sharp, talkative and had exceptional memory. Now she hardly utters a few words the whole day. Because of her speech limitations, she appears to be "slow". She is also paralyzed on the right side and is confined to a wheelchair.  At times, I would find her sobbing after failed attempts to do things that "normal" people can do effortlessly. She looks so helpless to the outside world.

When she was in an Extended Care facility, she was nicknamed "Mrs. Smiley" because of the big grin that she was constantly wearing on her face. Somehow her short temper had dissolved into a quietness that was never a part of her personality. Fellow patients and staff were extra nice to her because of this happy facade. Nobody could believe that she was once a demanding, unreasonable and impatient "Dragon Lady" prior to her stroke.


For many years, I have stayed out of her way and we seldom had heart-to-heart conversations. She disowned me no less than a dozen times since my teenage years. I could honestly say that I never experienced a mother's love by any measure. Every time she reconciled with me, she always had an ulterior motive. I asked God many times why our relationship was so irreparable. Now that she is meek and mild, I have a lot of sympathy for her and would go out on a limb to help her, even without her asking me or acknowledging my assistance. I have also found an answer to my age-long question.

Nicaragua Jan 22 - Feb 14, 2015

After visiting Mexico, Belize, Guatemala and Honduras, I had few expectations for my visit in Nicaragua except to visit some volcanoes, lakes, off-shore islands and colonial cities. Because of the injury on my left knee, I opted to skip a couple tourist attractions near the Honduras/Nicaragua border which has some hilly terrain. I went directly from Tegucigalpa to Managua by Tica Bus.

Unlike the majority of independent travellers, I chose to base in Managua and made day trips to Leon, Granada and Masaya National Park. I spent three days exploring Managua. The old cathedral of Managua was structurally damaged during the 1972 earthquake. The ruins of the old cathedral still have a haunting presence at the historical centre. Managua is a city of nameless streets. The shopping malls, markets and universities are often used as reference points. Another distinguishing feature is the “yellow trees” on major throughways of the capital city.

Granada and Leon are colonial cities that most backpackers use as hubs. The younger and more athletic visitors apparently prefer Leon because it offers more activities such volcano trekking & boarding and surfing. Moreover, I liked Granada more because it is heaven for photographers. The structures are better maintained and the buildings are more colourful. The islet dotted lakefront is simply gorgeous. The streets are wide and clean.

I visited Volcan Masaya which is a low, active volcano. The National Park surrounding the volcano is covered by solidified lava flows. Even though the area is not inhabited by people, the park is filled with unusual flora and fauna. I was very impressed with the informative presentation at the on-site museum.

The journeys between Managua and the Corn Islands were adventurous. To travel on a cargo boat is a romantic notion but it could be overwhelmingly challenging in reality. Captain D took 36 hours to travel from El Rama to Big Corn Island and the Isleno D took only 12 hours to go from Big Corn Island to El Rama. In comparison to the Bay Islands in Honduras, I like the Corn Islands more because they are more remote and less built-up. The odd time you could even witness crabs crossing a street to go back to the ocean.

To finish off my Nicaraguan visit, I stayed in Moyogalpa for nine days. I visited different parts of the island of Ometepe. It is a very peaceful place and there are farms and ranches everywhere on the island. The colour of the water is a murky green because the sediments are constantly stirred up by the currents of the lake water.

From Moyogalpa, I made two day trips to San Juan Del Sur and Rivas. San Juan Del Sur is a small beach town on the Pacific Coast. Its main attraction is the sandy beach. Rivas is a transportation hub in the southern part of Nicaragua. I tried to purchase a new carry-on there and found out that the prices were higher than those in Vancouver, Canada but a 2-piece fried chicken combo complete with fries, coleslaw and a soft drink cost only $3.50 USD.

Unlike Honduras, Nicaragua has always been trying to maintain its national identity separate from external influences such as the States, Spain, etc. Silhouette monuments of its national hero, Augusto Cesar Sandino, are erected throughout the country.