Simon Bolivar, a Venezuelan military leader once said, "By ignorance we have mastered more than force." I could not have agreed more with his statement after undertaking the task of looking after my recently disabled mother.
My mother suffered a massive hemorrhagic stroke in the left side of her brain in October 2014. She stayed in various hospitals for half a year before returning home in April 2015. Prior to the stroke, she was very sharp, talkative and had exceptional memory. Now she hardly utters a few words the whole day. Because of her speech limitations, she appears to be "slow". She is also paralyzed on the right side and is confined to a wheelchair. At times, I would find her sobbing after failed attempts to do things that "normal" people can do effortlessly. She looks so helpless to the outside world.
When she was in an Extended Care facility, she was nicknamed "Mrs. Smiley" because of the big grin that she was constantly wearing on her face. Somehow her short temper had dissolved into a quietness that was never a part of her personality. Fellow patients and staff were extra nice to her because of this happy facade. Nobody could believe that she was once a demanding, unreasonable and impatient "Dragon Lady" prior to her stroke.
For many years, I have stayed out of her way and we seldom had heart-to-heart conversations. She disowned me no less than a dozen times since my teenage years. I could honestly say that I never experienced a mother's love by any measure. Every time she reconciled with me, she always had an ulterior motive. I asked God many times why our relationship was so irreparable. Now that she is meek and mild, I have a lot of sympathy for her and would go out on a limb to help her, even without her asking me or acknowledging my assistance. I have also found an answer to my age-long question.
My mother suffered a massive hemorrhagic stroke in the left side of her brain in October 2014. She stayed in various hospitals for half a year before returning home in April 2015. Prior to the stroke, she was very sharp, talkative and had exceptional memory. Now she hardly utters a few words the whole day. Because of her speech limitations, she appears to be "slow". She is also paralyzed on the right side and is confined to a wheelchair. At times, I would find her sobbing after failed attempts to do things that "normal" people can do effortlessly. She looks so helpless to the outside world.
When she was in an Extended Care facility, she was nicknamed "Mrs. Smiley" because of the big grin that she was constantly wearing on her face. Somehow her short temper had dissolved into a quietness that was never a part of her personality. Fellow patients and staff were extra nice to her because of this happy facade. Nobody could believe that she was once a demanding, unreasonable and impatient "Dragon Lady" prior to her stroke.
For many years, I have stayed out of her way and we seldom had heart-to-heart conversations. She disowned me no less than a dozen times since my teenage years. I could honestly say that I never experienced a mother's love by any measure. Every time she reconciled with me, she always had an ulterior motive. I asked God many times why our relationship was so irreparable. Now that she is meek and mild, I have a lot of sympathy for her and would go out on a limb to help her, even without her asking me or acknowledging my assistance. I have also found an answer to my age-long question.
